Well, here is a good, deeply challenging thought for today:
by Jon Bloom
| August 17,
2012
At the root
of insecurity — the anxiety over how others think of us — is pride. The pride
is an excessive desire for others to see us as impressive and admirable.
Insecurity is the fear that they won’t, but instead they will see us as
deficient. As King Saul1 shows us, it’s a dangerous fear because
insecurity can lead to great disobedience.
Samuel’s
heart was broken and heavy as he neared the Saul’s camp at Gilgal. Israel’s
first king had failed so soon and so seriously.
And Samuel
was tired. He’d been up all night prayerfully mourning the Lord’s words, “I
regret that I have made Saul king, for he has turned back from following me and
has not performed my commandments.”
And he was
angry. The Lord had already severely disciplined Saul for officiating the burnt
offering when he knew it transgressed the Law. But God
had been gracious in giving him another chance by sending him to carry out
judgment on the Amalekites. The instructions could not have been clearer. They
had not been obeyed.
The old
prophet trembled at the word he must deliver to an armed king who feared public
humiliation more than the Holy One.
Saul was
all smiles when he saw Samuel. “Blessed be you to the Lord. I have performed
the commandment of the Lord.”
Samuel had
to bite his tongue. “What then is this bleating of the sheep in my ears and the
lowing of the oxen that I hear?”
Saul felt
immediately exposed. Alone he had figured that fudging some on the instructions
really wouldn’t matter. But now he knew he had gravely presumed. He fumbled for
words. “They have brought them from the Amalekites, for the people spared the
best of the sheep and of the oxen to sacrifice to the Lord your God, and the
rest we have devoted to destruction.”
This was a
smoke screen. “Stop!” Samuel cried. He could not bear Saul trying to cover disobedience
with cosmetic righteousness. Nor his cowardly hiding behind the people.
“I will tell you what the Lord said to me this night.”
Saul’s was
defensive in his guilt. “Speak,” he said with a bravado disguise.
“Though you
are little in your own eyes, are you not the head of the tribes of Israel? The
Lord anointed you king over Israel. And the Lord sent you on a mission and
said, ‘Go, devote to destruction the sinners, the Amalekites, and fight against
them until they are consumed.’ Why then did you not obey the voice of the
Lord?”
Then
looking over at the plump livestock, the price of Saul’s kingdom, Samuel said,
“Why did you pounce on the spoil and do what was evil in the sight of the
Lord?”
Saul was
defiant in his denial. “I have obeyed the voice of the Lord. I have gone
on the mission on which the Lord sent me. I have brought Agag the king of
Amalek, and I have devoted the Amalekites to destruction. But the people took
of the spoil, sheep and oxen, the best of the things devoted to destruction, to
sacrifice to the Lord your God in Gilgal.”
Samuel just
hung his head in disappointment. And he shook it with a subtleness that stung
Saul as much as anything the prophet had said…yet.
With teary
eyes on the ground, Samuel said, “Has the Lord as great delight in burnt
offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey
is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams. For rebellion is
as the sin of divination, and presumption is as iniquity and idolatry.
Samuel then
paused and caught his breath. Slowly he looked up into Saul’s guilt-shy eyes.
“Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, he has also rejected you from
being king.”
Saul
nervously glanced at the wordless watching men around him. He was sweating. “I
have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord and your
words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice.”
Saul is a
sober reminder to us that we obey the one we fear. He feared the people — he
loved his reputation — and despised God. Being little in our own eyes can be
either righteous or ruinous. It’s righteous if we see God as big and us as
small. This actually frees us from fear. But it’s ruinous if the approval of
man is what’s big to us because it always leads to disobeying God.
When we
fail in this area, and all of us do at some point, God calls us not to remorse
but to repentance. Saul was remorseful, but not repentant. He pursued the god
of his own glory over the God who gave him that glory right to his death on
Mount Gilboa. And he became lethally paranoid with insecurity.
So let us
repent of our insecurities and say with Peter and the disciples, “We must obey
God rather than men” (Acts 5:29).