Have you ever been so mad at your husband that the last thing you wanted to do was pray for him?
So have I.
It’s hard to
pray for someone when you’re angry or he’s hurt you.
But that’s
exactly what God wants us to do.
If He asks us
to pray for our enemies, how much more should we be praying for the person with
whom we have become one and are supposed to love?
But how do we
get past the unforgiveness and critical attitude?
The first
thing to do is be completely honest with God.
In order to
break down the walls in our hearts and smash the barriers that stop
communication, we have to be totally up front with the Lord about our feelings.
We don’t have
to “pretty it up” for Him.
He already
knows the truth.
He just wants
to see if we’re willing to admit it and confess it as disobedience to His
ways.
If so, He then
has a heart with which He can work.
If you’re
angry at your husband, tell God.
Don’t let it
become a cancer that grows with each passing day.
Don’t say,
“I’m going to live my life and let him live his.”
There’s a
price to pay when we act entirely independently of one another.
“Neither is
man independent of woman, nor woman independent of
man, in the Lord” (1
Corinthians 11:11).
Instead say:
“Lord, nothing
in me wants to pray for this man.
I confess my
anger, hurt, unforgiveness, disappointment, resentment, and hardness of heart
toward him.
Forgive me and
create in me a clean heart and right spirit before You.
Give me a new,
positive, joyful, loving, forgiving attitude toward him.
Where he has
erred, reveal it to him and convict his heart about it.
Lead him
through the paths of repentance and deliverance.
Help me not to
hold myself apart from him emotionally, mentally, or physically because of
unforgiveness.
Where either
of us needs to ask forgiveness of the other, help us to do so.
“If there is
something I’m not seeing that’s adding to this problem, reveal it to me and
help me to understand it.
Remove any
wedge of confusion that has created misunderstanding or miscommunication.
Where there is
behavior that needs to change in either of us, I pray You would enable that
change to happen.
As much as I
want to hang on to my anger toward him because I feel
it’s justified, I want to
do what You want.
I release all
those feelings to You.
Give me a
renewed sense of love for him and words to heal this situation.”
If you feel
you’re able, try this little experiment and see what happens.
Pray for your
husband every day for a month.
Ask God to
pour out His blessings on him and fill you both with His love.
See if your
heart doesn’t soften toward him.
Notice if his
attitude toward you doesn’t change as well.
Observe
whether your relationship isn’t running more smoothly.
If you have trouble
making that kind of prayer commitment, think of it from the Lord’s
perspective.
Seeing your
husband through God’s eyes-not just as your husband, but as God’s child, a son
whom the Lord loves - can be a great revelation.
If someone
called and asked you to pray for his or her son, you would do it, wouldn’t
you?
Well, God is
asking.
There is a
time for everything, it says in the Bible.
And it’s never
more true than in marriage, especially when it comes to the words we say.
There is a
time to speak and a time not to speak, and happy is the man whose wife can
discern between the two.
Anyone who has
been married for any length of time realizes that there are things that are
better left unsaid.
A wife has the
ability to hurt her husband more deeply than anyone else can, and he can do the
same to her.
No matter how
much apology, the words can not be erased.
They can only
be forgiven and that’s not always easy.
Sometimes
anything we say will only hinder the flow of what God wants to do, so it’s best
to, well, shut up and pray.
by Stormie
Omartian in her book, “The Power of a Praying Wife”
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